Hey dude, gotta change our plans A vole attacked and lost my hands My eyes poked out in a violent crime I just can’t get there this time I ran out of gas in a mine field Got a giant squid that just won’t yield Got shot down by a rogue drone You’ll have to let me postpone Just know I'm sorry I can tell you're mad I got to change our rendezvous I broke my leg, it’s turning blue Got a burning house, an ingrown nail A ruptured spleen, I just gotta bail A mime made off with all my clothes Netflix cancelled all of my shows Shit! just bumped my crazy bone You’ll have to let me postpone Just know I'm sorry I can tell you're mad Ive been framed for a homicide My hamster and my tapeworm died I’m under quite a lot of stress My mustache is an awful mess Not sure if you are aware Someone broke in and cut my hair Write it on my tombstone You’ll have to let me postpone I got to get a rain check There is just no god damned way This thing must be put on hold We’ll table it for another day Skip to content Using Gmail with screen readers Search Compose Labels Inbox 17 Starred Snoozed Important Sent Drafts 6 Categories Notes official stuff Personal PMSpub Travel More Hangouts More 1 of 23 Otherwise Engaged Inbox x Paul Crandell <paducran@gmail.com> 1:03 PM (0 minutes ago) to me Otherwise Engaged Hey dude, gotta change our plans A vole attacked and lost my hands My eyes poked out in a violent crime I just can’t get there this time I ran out of gas in a mine field Got a giant squid that just won’t yield Got shot down by a rogue drone You’ll have to let me postpone I got to change our rendezvous I broke my leg, it’s turning blue Got a burning house, an ingrown nail A ruptured spleen, I just gotta bail A mime made off with all my clothes Netflix cancelled all of my shows Shit! just bumped my crazy bone You’ll have to let me postpone Ive been framed for a homicide My hamster and my tapeworm died I’m under quite a lot of stress My mustache is an awful mess Not sure if you are aware Someone broke in and cut my hair Write it on my tombstone You’ll have to let me postpone I got to get a rain check There is just no god damned way This thing must be put on hold We’ll table it for another day Sent from my iPhone Reply Forward

Just know this I hate most of you Ninety nine percent Of all of you suck Incredible Yes indeed it is But zero percent Is the amount I give a fuck On the highways In the grocery stores On the airwaves Behind the closed doors Chances are I hate you Chances are you're shit Just know this I'd kill most of you At the slightest provocation Remarkable Yes indeed it is That you can figure out the simplest equations In the cities On the country side On the Internet Yes it is world wide Chances are...

My stance is not a popular one And I know what you're going to say Like the guy who breaks his healthy legs Because he feels he's born that way Whatever happened to batshit crazy? To not kill you I must strain That motherfucker is not just lazy That motherfucker is quite insane My stance is not a popular one But I believe in common sense Like the dude who cuts his own ears off He doesn't like the shape of his head Whatever happened to batshit crazy? I Cant believe I must explain That motherfucker has not just bravery That motherfucker is quite insane!!! My stance is actually quite common And I believe in common sense I see a paranoid simpleton Looking for monsters beneath his bed Here’s the new form of batshit crazy I can’t believe we must explain That stupid fuck is not just hazy The stupid fuck is quite insane

Can’t speak for your broken soul How it splintered I don’t know Were you born a selfish prick? Or did you have to work at it? Living large and wasting space Think you’ll win a fucking race But in truth you’ll die alone Without the bullshit that you own. What will you leave behind? What will you leave behind? What remains of your time? A buttload of accomplishments? A better world of common sense? Fuck no, I’ll wager that All the time you’re getting fat A drain on society And so this I ask of thee What is your legacy?

Hey oh Mick me brother Where we off to now? There’s gold in them there hills, Sir Reg, and we’ll get there somehow We’ll need some transportation Some way to fucking traverse I say we steel a horse or two And there’s no need to curse Across the open plains Our heroes rode forth They tried their luck westward But finally headed north Much hardship ensued And ultimately doom Highbottom returned alone His life become a tomb

Brings new meaning to open road The howling wind, this heavy load Every day brings another danger In the face of every stranger You’ll never be prepared For death that lurks in any shadow Trying to forget about The hunger, loneliness is raw Hopelessness can kill As quick as any deathclaw Raiders killed your wife last year Mutants ate your dog The robots hound you constantly Mirelurks chased you from the swamp

God damned motherfucker!!!!

Pride goeth after I treat you like a turd This dark spot on my soul Is becoming quite absurd I’ll see you in the flush As all your hopes I crush It will be quite a rush A severed heart will gush I’m so glad they can’t see What buried deep within I’d loose my job certainly Their fear would do me in But out in the real world There is no such restrain Only she can hold me back From causing you all pain You’re just a pound of flush A blob of rancid mush Without you in the slush All would be so plush It must be quenched right away Before you speak a word The line between right and wrong Will soon be all blurred

Klaatu, virada, nikto May the force be with you Live long and Prosper Two by two, hands of blue By Grabthar's hammer, winter is coming, begin the Luxan chase Come with me if you want to live, truth, justice, American ways The title is from Paul So say we all! See you at the party, Richter Dead or alive you are coming with me If it bleeds we can kill it Great Scott, this is heavy! Space herpes, we're going plaid This bitch is toast, game over man! ET phone home, six, seven, go to hell or go to heaven

I The kinkier the better Off my tail with a carving knife Better shorn than furry but A fetish makes for a happy life I live a Doggie lifestyle When I toss my Caesar I go to town Search holes with my detective And Gobble all my chowder down Chase me round the mar berry bush and I’ll do whatever I’m told Beat me like the hog I am Pease porridge in the pot nine days old Not sure what that refers to Just wanted to make that rhyme It sounds vaguely filthy I’ll just have to make it mine Kinky Stinky Porridge baby II Seriously though I cannot tell Is it Pure instinct Or what the hell What is that spark That switcharoo That dictates this Inside of you What caused man to deviate From the simple need to procreate To needing some bizarre innate Predilection we fornicate Animals don’t Do this shit They simply need to finish it They may kill Each other for The privilege But we want much more

So self absorbed - So flagellated A guilt so strong- You’re agitated Lashing out - And manipulated All like- minded - congregated Normal is the middle of this mess we’re in Futility of virtue we will never win Clarity is realizing its all for naught Victory for only those who’ve never fought So buried deep - in a rabbit hole So blinded by - so integral Spewing forth - a cloudy goal Self righteousness - an empty soul The answer is so simple You’ll never perceive This place is so comfortable You’ll never ever leave